:(

I feel lonely.

I miss my dad, he has always been away. I barely see him everyday. I go to school early, he goes home late.

I go somewhere on weekend, he stays home. I stay home, he goes to golf field. He often goes to another town, or even another country.

I miss my mom, I barely see her now. Not only because her house is one-hour-trip from my house, but also because of my my bustle.

I miss my sister. We chat sometimes, but that wasn't enough. I miss our goofy times, and I even miss our fights.

Sometimes I need her.

I miss him. I feel happier when I chat with him :)

But I don't know why I'm being too paranoid. I'm being melancholy lately. Hmm.. Maybe there's something wrong with me? Naah, I'm just being a-girl-who-has-a-crush-on-a-boy.

I suppose I should've been used to feel lonely. I'm alone since I was a kid.

I think, maybe I need someone now.

LOL!

I laughed so hard when I saw this. ROFL XD

Look at Neville's face on the first pic.

There's Neville's face everywhere!

-- Taken from Tumblr.

This is not the end.

Earlier today, my friend went to SMAK 1 to see the SMAK 1 entrance test's result. He asked me at BBM, "Hey, do you want me to tell you the result?" My heart was beating fast. I said, "Okay."

He asked me my test number, then he started looking. After a while, he said "Your number isn't here."

Bang! It was like a ton of rock just dropped above me head, and my heart started to beat faster.

I said, "Are you serious?" I lost my senses to people around me back then, my mind was going crazy.

He said, "I'm serious. There's no 10095, there're just 10092, 10094 and 10096."

My heart was beating so fast. My heart sank. I wanted to cry. I sent a text message to my dad, and I said, "Dad, I think I didn't make it." I tried to hold my tears, but my tears dropped as soon as my dad called me.

My friends said "Don't cry. I'm sure you're gonna make it." But I just couldn't hold my tears. I didn't cry for a long time, it would've been too embarrasing.

I didn't cry a lot back in school, but on my way home, I cried again. I don't why I was so sad, I just felt so upset. I was still crying when I got home. I went to my backyard, and I cried in front of my dog (I know that sounds lame :\)

After a while I stabilized. My tears were gone, but I couldn't get rid of the swollen eyes*sigh*.

Now I'm stable, so I can think clearly. I'm still hesitate though. I haven't decided my future high school yet.

Maybe I'll go to St. Angela again, or other high school. I don't know yet.

So I failed.

I didn't pass the test. But this is not the end. My life's still far ahead, and this is just one of my life experience I'll have in the future.

So I won't break down. Not now.

Random :|

Hi all. It's been a while since the last time I post, hasn't it? :)

I've been so busy lately, so I didn't have quite time to post.

Well, actually, I don't know what to say. I even don't know what to name the title, so I just named it "Random :|".

In this post, I'm going to tell you random things about random stuff. So, this post doesn't have a clear subject.

First of all, I just took SMAK 1's entrance test two days ago. I think I did horribly at the test :(

The Math test was so difficult, and the Science wasn't any easier. The easiest test was the English test.

Tomorrow they will announce the students that passed. I'm so nervous! I hope I passed the test.

My older sister also went to SMAK 1 (she's in college now), and I thought, "It seems like she's having a great time at SMAK 1". So it made me want to apply in SMAK 1 even more. I know it'll be hard to say goodbye to St. Angela (my school since I was still in kindergarten, elementary and of course, junior high school). But, I think it's the best choice.

So, wish me luck, cross your finger, say a prayer or anything :D

Secondly, so I have this crush on a boy :D Let's just call him "A". He's my senior. He's not that cute, but still, he is cute. I like his smile :) and he's so nice. I'm not a close friend of him (well one of my friends is), but I still like him. I did chat with him, once (unfortunately), and I just clicked right away. I like him because he seemed so nice (and cute too! Okay I had mentioned it many times before :P)

I'm not hoping to be his girlfriend or something though, I just want to get closer to him, and get to know him better.

But the bad news is, one of my friends has a crush on him too. So I guess that makes us rivals, huh? Actually I'm okay with it, cause it's people's right to have a crush on someone, right? So I can't force her to not has a crush on A. Hopefully she's okay with it too :\

Thirdly, I want a macbook. My dad said if he has had money from the sale of shares, he'll buy me one. I'm still hesitate to buy a Macbook or Macbook Pro. What do you guys think? Should I buy Macbook or Macbook Pro?

Hmm.. I think I prefer Macbook Pro. Too bad the stock prices are low now, so my dad hasn't got the money yet.

Well just hope the prices will go high soon, so I will say helo to Macbook in no time! :D

Tumblr.

ilovemyrandomess.tumblr.com

Follow me, ok? :)

I'll follow you back.

High School.

I'm at the 9 grade now. It means that I'm going to High School soon.

My Dad told me to go to SMAK 1, and took the Cambridge International Program (CIP), so I could take the IGSCE test. IGCSE test makes us possible to skip a year of high school, which could make me go to university sooner.

But I don't think I'm capable of going to SMAK 1. SMAK 1 is a school for smart people, and I'm not smart at all. Even I'm including to dumb people*sigh.

My older sister said CIP was easy, but my seniors said otherwise.

Am I going to survive if I took the CIP Program? Let's just hope so.

And if I'm going to take it, I think I should be more dilligent from now on.

Darn, just another thing that I'm not good at. Be diligent.

Viktor & Rolf Spring 2010.

Oh my God, I'm totally fell in love with these.

Viktor & Rolf Spring 2010.