:(

I feel lonely.

I miss my dad, he has always been away. I barely see him everyday. I go to school early, he goes home late.

I go somewhere on weekend, he stays home. I stay home, he goes to golf field. He often goes to another town, or even another country.

I miss my mom, I barely see her now. Not only because her house is one-hour-trip from my house, but also because of my my bustle.

I miss my sister. We chat sometimes, but that wasn't enough. I miss our goofy times, and I even miss our fights.

Sometimes I need her.

I miss him. I feel happier when I chat with him :)

But I don't know why I'm being too paranoid. I'm being melancholy lately. Hmm.. Maybe there's something wrong with me? Naah, I'm just being a-girl-who-has-a-crush-on-a-boy.

I suppose I should've been used to feel lonely. I'm alone since I was a kid.

I think, maybe I need someone now.

LOL!

I laughed so hard when I saw this. ROFL XD

Look at Neville's face on the first pic.

There's Neville's face everywhere!

-- Taken from Tumblr.

This is not the end.

Earlier today, my friend went to SMAK 1 to see the SMAK 1 entrance test's result. He asked me at BBM, "Hey, do you want me to tell you the result?" My heart was beating fast. I said, "Okay."

He asked me my test number, then he started looking. After a while, he said "Your number isn't here."

Bang! It was like a ton of rock just dropped above me head, and my heart started to beat faster.

I said, "Are you serious?" I lost my senses to people around me back then, my mind was going crazy.

He said, "I'm serious. There's no 10095, there're just 10092, 10094 and 10096."

My heart was beating so fast. My heart sank. I wanted to cry. I sent a text message to my dad, and I said, "Dad, I think I didn't make it." I tried to hold my tears, but my tears dropped as soon as my dad called me.

My friends said "Don't cry. I'm sure you're gonna make it." But I just couldn't hold my tears. I didn't cry for a long time, it would've been too embarrasing.

I didn't cry a lot back in school, but on my way home, I cried again. I don't why I was so sad, I just felt so upset. I was still crying when I got home. I went to my backyard, and I cried in front of my dog (I know that sounds lame :\)

After a while I stabilized. My tears were gone, but I couldn't get rid of the swollen eyes*sigh*.

Now I'm stable, so I can think clearly. I'm still hesitate though. I haven't decided my future high school yet.

Maybe I'll go to St. Angela again, or other high school. I don't know yet.

So I failed.

I didn't pass the test. But this is not the end. My life's still far ahead, and this is just one of my life experience I'll have in the future.

So I won't break down. Not now.

Random :|

Hi all. It's been a while since the last time I post, hasn't it? :)

I've been so busy lately, so I didn't have quite time to post.

Well, actually, I don't know what to say. I even don't know what to name the title, so I just named it "Random :|".

In this post, I'm going to tell you random things about random stuff. So, this post doesn't have a clear subject.

First of all, I just took SMAK 1's entrance test two days ago. I think I did horribly at the test :(

The Math test was so difficult, and the Science wasn't any easier. The easiest test was the English test.

Tomorrow they will announce the students that passed. I'm so nervous! I hope I passed the test.

My older sister also went to SMAK 1 (she's in college now), and I thought, "It seems like she's having a great time at SMAK 1". So it made me want to apply in SMAK 1 even more. I know it'll be hard to say goodbye to St. Angela (my school since I was still in kindergarten, elementary and of course, junior high school). But, I think it's the best choice.

So, wish me luck, cross your finger, say a prayer or anything :D

Secondly, so I have this crush on a boy :D Let's just call him "A". He's my senior. He's not that cute, but still, he is cute. I like his smile :) and he's so nice. I'm not a close friend of him (well one of my friends is), but I still like him. I did chat with him, once (unfortunately), and I just clicked right away. I like him because he seemed so nice (and cute too! Okay I had mentioned it many times before :P)

I'm not hoping to be his girlfriend or something though, I just want to get closer to him, and get to know him better.

But the bad news is, one of my friends has a crush on him too. So I guess that makes us rivals, huh? Actually I'm okay with it, cause it's people's right to have a crush on someone, right? So I can't force her to not has a crush on A. Hopefully she's okay with it too :\

Thirdly, I want a macbook. My dad said if he has had money from the sale of shares, he'll buy me one. I'm still hesitate to buy a Macbook or Macbook Pro. What do you guys think? Should I buy Macbook or Macbook Pro?

Hmm.. I think I prefer Macbook Pro. Too bad the stock prices are low now, so my dad hasn't got the money yet.

Well just hope the prices will go high soon, so I will say helo to Macbook in no time! :D

Tumblr.

ilovemyrandomess.tumblr.com

Follow me, ok? :)

I'll follow you back.

High School.

I'm at the 9 grade now. It means that I'm going to High School soon.

My Dad told me to go to SMAK 1, and took the Cambridge International Program (CIP), so I could take the IGSCE test. IGCSE test makes us possible to skip a year of high school, which could make me go to university sooner.

But I don't think I'm capable of going to SMAK 1. SMAK 1 is a school for smart people, and I'm not smart at all. Even I'm including to dumb people*sigh.

My older sister said CIP was easy, but my seniors said otherwise.

Am I going to survive if I took the CIP Program? Let's just hope so.

And if I'm going to take it, I think I should be more dilligent from now on.

Darn, just another thing that I'm not good at. Be diligent.

Viktor & Rolf Spring 2010.

Oh my God, I'm totally fell in love with these.

Viktor & Rolf Spring 2010.

9B

9B is my class.

At first I thought this class would be boring. None of my friends are in the same class with me, most of them are in 9E and 9C. I was like "Jeez, I'm the only person who got into this class". I was really upset.

Now, I begin to like 9B. My classmates are funny, and they make me laugh all the time because of their silly actions.

Earlier today during the Math class, we flew paper planes across the classroom, because there was no teacher. There were five planes or so, flying over our heads and then suddenly they swooped down sharply. It was fun.

And in Biology class, we talked about Human Reproduction System. Like most other boys, boys in my class are bawdy. They kept saying bawdy things, but they weren't "nasty" bawdy things. In fact it was pretty funny :p

I hope 9B will be a great class. At the end of the day, maybe I'll love this class.

Hoooray! :D

Hooray! I'm so happy :D

I've got my SLR camera yesterday. It's a standart Canon SLR, Canon EOS 1000D, but I'm still so happy.

I know I'm not a very good photographer, but it's ok, right? To have a good camera.

I haven't got very good photos so far. I wish I have, but I haven't. There's not many good objects around my house, so I don't know what to shoot. I'm glad I chose Photography for my extracurricular, so that way I could increase my photography ability, since from now on I'll be wearing my SLR camera.

Oh, and one more thing. My blackberry is off, I think there's something wrong with it. I can't get it on. Suddenly it went off, and i couldn't make it on again. It feels weird without my Blackberry in my hand (talking about Blackberry addiction!). I can't update my status in twitter, and that makes me feel like I've missed the news. I can't send messages to my friends, cause I usually do that with BBM.

So if there's something you want to tell me, just send me a message to my Facebook, or DM me on twitter :)

I Love Disney.

I was listening to Disney song on iTunes when I wrote this blog.

First, I want to say : I love Disney so much. Of course you all know that, the title is so obvious.

Second, I think he was a genius man. I know it sounds excessive, but i really do think that way.

Third, I love all Disney movies. I like the cartoon better, but I love the non-cartoon too.

I love the Disney old classic stories, such as Disney Princesses, Mickey Mouse, etc.

My favorite Disney Princess is Ariel from The Little Mermaid. When I was younger my favorite was Aurora from The Sleeping beauty, but now she's my second favorite. I don't like Snow White (no offense to those who likes Snow White).

Some of my favorite Disney movies are The Lion King & The Lion King 2. I've watched them when I was little. I didn't really get the details back then, I just knew the storyline. Now, I know many more details, cause I'm better with the English and listening skills.

Have you heard Disney songs? They're amazing, and they have great meaning. Many of them are love songs, but they still have great meaning too. I love Pocahontas song, Colors Of The Wind. It's about the earth, and the people who wanted to claim it. The great lyrics are :

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name
You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew
Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?

Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth
The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends
How high will the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind
You can own the Earth and still
All you'll own is Earth until

You can paint with all the colors of the wind

- Pocahontas--Colors of The Wind

Isn't it great? I love it :)

I love Disney since I was a kid. When I've become a mother, I want to try to make my kids to love Disney, like the way I do.

Photography.

I edited some photos of me earlier today. I'm not a very good photo editor, but I think they're ok. I still don't know how to use Adobe. I use Photoscape to edit my photos--of course it's not as good as adobe, though.

I like photography, but I'm not very good at it. I don't get great angles and shoots. Sometimes I do, but only occasionally. I use standart digital camera, Olympus. I want Canon or Nikon SLR camera so badly, but they're expensive. My dad would never buy me one. Well, actually I've never asked my Dad for it, I guess I was just too scared and feel guilty to ask, cause he has spent so much money on my sister's college fees.

Standart SLR is 4 million rupiah, it's so much cheaper than other SLR that worth 12 million (but it's still expensive). Maybe I should use my own savings. I've just opened my piggy bank a few days ago, there was a lot of money in it. I guess I could buy a SLR with that money, and ask for some additional money to my Dad :p

My Photoshoots.

Hmm...

Well, my older sister has moved to Melbourne.

She probably won't stay there forever, though, and I will see her every year.

But when I saw her picture in Facebook a few days ago, suddenly she got this "College Girl" image. I was a bit surprised, cause she did look--and act--a little infantile when she was still in high school (esp. when she was at home). I don't know if that's because of the make up (and I'm not sure she was even wearing it.)

...........................

Snap, that made me miss her.

Oh and by the way, I love this picture :)

EF Homestay GDC' 10

Juni-Juli 2010.

Sabtu, Minggu & Senin, 26, 27 & 28 Juni.

Gue dan anak-anak EF berangkat dari Bandara Soekarno Hatta, Jakarta, ke Singapore jam 7.05 malem, flight SQ 963. Abis transit 3 jam, dari Singapore kita semua berangkat ke Brisbane jam 9.40 malem, flight SQ 255. Perjalanannya lama juga, sekitar 8 jam.

Setelah, nggak tau berapa lama, akhirnya kita sampe juga di Brisbane. Dari Brisbane kita naik bis ke Gold Coast selama 1 jam. Pertama sampe di Gold Coast kita langsung ke Oxenford Youth Camp, EF Center Gold Coast.

Kita ketemu Yaro, Course Leader kita, dan dikenalin sama Susanne, Local Leader kita yang super cantik.

Kita makan siang disana. Then, kita dikenalin ke host family masing-masing. Host family gue, Karin, Chelle & Ka Cindy dateng terakhir. Namanya Noeleen Treloar. Mom punya 4 anak, 3 cowok dan 1 cewek, dan 2 cucu.

Besoknya ada Placement test. Untung gue satu kelas sama Karin & Chelle di Fast Track 3.

Selasa, 29 Juni.

Kita pergi ke Dreamworld. Ridesnya rame banget! Ada Giant Drop, mirip Hysteria tapi tingginya 119 meter, gelinya mantap. Terus Tower of Terror, Wipeout, The Claw dll. Gue mau naik Cyclone, tapi antriannya panjang banget, jadi nggak jadi. Dan di Dreamworld gue liat cowok cakeepp banget! Gue panggilnya JBLA, Justin Bieber Look Alike, soalnya dia emang mirip banget sama Justin Bieber (diakui sama banyak orang). Pokoknya 2 jempol buat Dreamworld.

Jumat, 2 Juli.

Kita ke Surfers Paradise. Kita sempet masuk ke Ripley's Believe It Or Not. Isinya replika-replika barang-barang aneh, misalnya Gambar Pejamuan Terakhir dari toast dll.

Sabtu, 3 Juli.

We went to... Brisbane! Sejak pertama Susanne emang bilang kalo Brisbane itu tempat shopping, jadi gue, Karin & Chelle shopping gila-gilaan. Sayang waktunya kurang banyak, jadi kita masih kurang puas. Lumayan sih, gue dape beberapa baju.

Minggu, 4 Juli.

Berhubung hari Minggu kita punya full-day sama Host Family, jadi Mom nganter kita ke Harbour Town. Harbour Town itu semacam FO, tapi mirip mall. Isinya lengkap. Sialnya pertamanya gue, Karin & Chelle salah tempat. Kita muter-muter di bagian yang sepi lumayan lama, sampe akhirnya kita nelpon Ka Cindy buat nanya dimana Cotton On. Kita baru sadar kalo daritadi kita keliling di tempat yang salah, soalnya Cotton On ada di 'pusatnya' Harbour Town. Kalo pusat sih, ga usah ditanya, pasti lengkap. Ada Jay Jays dan Cotton On (2 of my fav

orite shops), City Beach dll. Dan senengnya lagi, hampir semua toko lagi sale di Gold Coast & Brisbane. City Beach tuh mirip Planet Surf, isinya Roxy, Ripcurl, Billabong dll, dan lagi sale gede-gedean. Gue sampe ngubek-ngubek barang-barang susah payah, tapi perjuangan gue nggak sia-sia sih, soalnya gue dapet banyak barang lucu.

Selasa, 6 Juli.

Kita pergi ke Movieworld. Movieworld emang rame, tapi gue tetep lebih suka Dreamworld. Movieworld lebih bagus buat foto-foto. Ridesnya emang rame, tapi terlalu dikit. Kalo ride favorit gue? Definitely Scooby-Doo Spooky Coaster. Ridenya emang rame sih, soalnya pas dulu gue kesini, sekarang cuma ride ini yang gue inget. Haha.

Kamis & Jumat, 8 & 9 Juli.

Kita pergi ke Sydney! Sialnya harusnya di Sydney kita nginep di Aaron Hotel, tapi mendadak kita pindah ke YHA Railway Square, Hostile buat Backpackers. Sebenernya hostilenya bagus, cuma kamar mandinya diluar kamar, ga enak banget. Local Leader di Sydney namanya Fiona. Fiona emang (bukannya menghina) gendut dan nyeremin. Rambutnya dicat merah. Kita-kita manggil dia Shrek soalnya Fiona emang mirip Ogre. Hehe.

Sayang di Sydney waktu shoppingnya kurang banget. Kita malah hampir nggak punya waktu buat shopping. Beli oleh-oleh juga. Untung tapi kita sempet beli oleh-oleh di Sydney Tower. Oleh-olehnya standar, gantungan koala. Abis nggak sempet beli yang lain. Haha.

Besoknya kita ngeliat Sydney Opera House & Harbour Bridge. Kita naik kapal keliling-keliling, tapi kita nggak turun ke Opera House. Sayang pas kita lagi foto-foto tiba-tiba ujan. Sydney emang ujan terus sih dari kemaren.

Sabtu, 10 Juli.

Ga kerasa udah 2 minggu. Sedih banget suru pisah, soalnya anak-anak EF emang rame dan lucu banget. Rasanya masih pengen di Aussie terus pulang berminggu-minggu lagi. Coba kalo kita homestay bareng sebulan. 2 minggu emang kurang kayanya.

Flight kita balik ke Indonesia jam 8 pagi, jadi kita terpaksa bangun jam 4 pagi, soalnya kita disuruh kumpul jam 5. Gue udah deg-degan, takut koper gue overweight, soalnya berat maksimal bagasi 19 kilo, padahal berat bagasi gue waktu berangkat ke Sydney aja 23 kilo. Untung Karin beli travel bag lagi, jadi gue nitip beberapa barang gue. Hehe.

Tapi untung ternyata gue nggak overweight. Untunglah, daripada gue suru bayar lagi.

Gue selesai deg-degan masalah koper, terus jantung gue deg-degan lebih parah lagi. Boarding pass gue ilang. Gue syok pas pertama liat boarding pass yang gue selipin di passport ga ada, padahal gue udah antri masuk ke pesawat. Gue langsung bilang ke Ka Cindy. Gila, gue udah deg-degan banget. Untung ternyata bparding passnya bisa ditulis ulang. Fiuhh, untunglah. Begonya, boarding pass gue ilang dua-duanya, boarding pass dari Sydney ke Singapore dan Singapore ke Jakarta. Jadi begitu gue sampe di Changi, gue sama Ka Cindy lari ke gate pesawat gue. Udah cape-cape lari, ternyata ngurus boarding passnya bukan disitu. Gue sama Ka Cindy langsung lari lagi. Untung masih keburu, soalnya waktunya emang udah mepet. Gue sampe bener-bener ngos-ngosan dan deg-degan. Tapi ini emang salah satu pengalaman sih. Bisa dibilang rame juga. Hehe.

Kalo jadi sih gue mau homestay lagi taun depan ke Taiwan. Doain jadi ya. Hehe.