Wednesday, October 6, 2010

This is not the end.

Earlier today, my friend went to SMAK 1 to see the SMAK 1 entrance test's result. He asked me at BBM, "Hey, do you want me to tell you the result?" My heart was beating fast. I said, "Okay."
He asked me my test number, then he started looking. After a while, he said "Your number isn't here."

Bang! It was like a ton of rock just dropped above me head, and my heart started to beat faster.
I said, "Are you serious?" I lost my senses to people around me back then, my mind was going crazy.
He said, "I'm serious. There's no 10095, there're just 10092, 10094 and 10096."

My heart was beating so fast. My heart sank. I wanted to cry. I sent a text message to my dad, and I said, "Dad, I think I didn't make it." I tried to hold my tears, but my tears dropped as soon as my dad called me.
My friends said "Don't cry. I'm sure you're gonna make it." But I just couldn't hold my tears. I didn't cry for a long time, it would've been too embarrasing.

I didn't cry a lot back in school, but on my way home, I cried again. I don't why I was so sad, I just felt so upset. I was still crying when I got home. I went to my backyard, and I cried in front of my dog (I know that sounds lame :\)

After a while I stabilized. My tears were gone, but I couldn't get rid of the swollen eyes*sigh*.
Now I'm stable, so I can think clearly. I'm still hesitate though. I haven't decided my future high school yet.
Maybe I'll go to St. Angela again, or other high school. I don't know yet.

So I failed.

I didn't pass the test. But this is not the end. My life's still far ahead, and this is just one of my life experience I'll have in the future.

So I won't break down. Not now.

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